Save Our Laundry

29 Jun 08 - HDB dwellers throughout Singapore recognise an immutable law --- the pole goes into the hole. And the pole STAYS in the hole.

If you had ever attempted to hang your clothes out to dry, you would know exactly what I mean. In the good old days, my family hung our clothes to dry on bamboo poles and slotted these poles into purpose-built cylindrical pole holders just below the window sill.

Now, I still use bamboo poles. Except that the familiar plastic pole holders have now been replaced by 2 rows of metal holders on each side of a pair of facing windows. And this was largely why I had to pay an unscheduled visit to my neighbour today.

Sometime in the late afternoon today, I was working on our wedding website when a sharp scream emanated from the kitchen. I immediately rushed into the kitchen, expecting to see Her Royal Majesty in a bloody mess.

Instead, she was leaning against the window sill, straining to catch a glimpse of something that was directly beneath our window. I followed her gaze and saw our bamboo pole and all the clothes that were hanging on it, now lying in a tangled heap on the window ledge of our 13th floor neighbour.

Apparently, the bamboo pole had slipped off the metal holder that was nearest to our side of the window. So much for modern housing innovations.

I did not have much of a choice except to make my way down to seek our neighbour's help. Meanwhile, Her Royal Majesty took root in the kitchen and refused to accompany me, conveniently excusing herself by claiming that she was "very busy".

As embarrassing as the situation could be, it was made doubly worse by the fact that this was the second time that I was asking the same neighbour to retrieve our clothing from their window ledge. She must think that we must either have incredibly slippery bamboo poles or clothes hangers that shrink when exposed to air.

Fortunately, she didn't display much of a reaction, and stoically headed into her flat to retrieve our clothes. Curiously enough, my neighbour's son seem to take a greater interest in the matter than my neighbour. There he was, a young boy who could not have been more than 10 years old, standing at the gate, determined to find out from this stranger how come his clothes could "drop down like that".

I was secretly relieved when my neighbour soon appeared, bearing my clothes and the bamboo pole. I quickly gathered them together, mumbled a thank-you and scrambled away from the son's impromptu interrogation.

Back at our flat, we had to wash the clothes again. At the same time, my mind was racing to think of how we could prevent our clothes or poles from landing in neighbouring flats again. Short of using large quantities of metal chains and hemp rope, I could not really think of any good ideas. Save Our Laundry, anyone?

- Melvin

My Wonderful Alarm Clock

What is the definition of a good alarm clock?

One that serves it purpose? Yes, of course, but you see, there are so many other factors involved.

I define a good alarm clock as one that not only produces a loud ringing tone, but the tone must be irritating as well.

I have been using my mobile's alarm function for a long time, and I always select music that sounds irritating when it gets increasingly louder. Makes me want to get off the bed to press the "turn off" button, and in the process, since already roused from my sleep, might as well just wake up and start preparing for work.

Recently, my alarm clock seems to have lost that ability to irritate me into waking up. When it rings, I hit on the snooze button and continue sleeping.

Kitty got me a new alarm clock.

It's really, really good in serving its purpose.

Every morning at 7am, it will auto slap 2 pieces of ice cold cotton pads onto my eyes. These ice cold cotton pads are enough to make any heavy sleeper stir from his/her sleep. Best of all, they also help to reduce the puffiness of whatever eye bags that I have.

At 7.10am, it will remove the cotton pads from my eyes and I enjoy a few mins of massage. It then switches off the air-con. For someone who hates still air, I start to feel a lil bit irritated and keep tossing from left to right.

At 7.15am, my mobile alarm clock rings. I feel even more irritated but continue sleeping. The new alarm clock turns off the mobile alarm clock and starts chirping...

"Dear qi lai le!!!!!" (dear wake up!!!)

*I remain dead to the world*

"Dear kuai dian qi lai!!! 7.15am liao!!!" (dear faster wake up its 7.15am!!!)

Arrrgh *I ignore and continue sleeping*

*Louder* "Dear qi lai le lah!!!! ni yao chi dao le!!!!" (dear wake up lah you are going to be late!!!)

Me: *feeling super irritated* "Hah nah hah nah" *I cover my ears with the pillow*

*Even louder* "you don't hah nah hah nah faster wake up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

MAnx... I couldn't take it anymore. It has such a horribly irritating voice that just won't stop unless I wake up.

So I finally get off the bed and start preparing for work.

See? Such a wonderful alarm clock.

Guess what's the best feature?

THERE IS NO SNOOZE BUTTON.

It just goes on and on, until you finally get off the bed.